Leading the Middle Amidst A Growing Divide
Strategies that human-centered leaders can lean on to appeal to and unite their people during times when the extremes are vigorously working to divide them.
Words alone are inadequate to capture the deep human tragedies across the world. The coverage by news outlets is continuous and ongoing. People are being pushed to the extremes of their understanding and their idea of what is right, fair, and just. The deep human angst is spilling out into disturbing and increasingly hostile acts across the globe. The protests are growing, as is the information, or misinformation, war. Every image, every opinion, every personal story continues to shock us as the divide widens and the hate expands. This impacts each of us as humans, but it is also impacting the organizations and companies of which we are a part.
What is lost in this mix of human suffering are the views and opinions of people with equally strongly held beliefs who are either silenced or choose, often out of fear, not to speak out – those in the middle. The middle wants to understand and to be just, but they also want action, not just more rhetoric to serve any single-sided agenda or solution.
They are caught amongst the most extreme views and images that are forcing a level of confusion and uncomfortable questioning. Where do I fit? What am I supposed to believe? What am I supposed to do? Can I even be myself outside my home? Far too often, we don’t ask the fundamental questions because the ferocity of voices around us accelerates and heightens both fear and anger. Others seem too knowledgeable, and we are chilled from even entering the conversation because their strength of conviction can intimidate us. Those in the middle are often unwilling to speak out as they reconcile their thoughts, sadness, and panic for fear of harm and ostracism. For many, it is simply not their way to share their protest or speak out against injustices. But they are the ones who are being hurt as the extreme voices grow louder and more violent. I was struck recently when a Jewish student shared his fear about walking across a campus filled with angry protesters. I asked, “Why are you afraid? They won’t know you are Jewish.” He boldly responded, “I know that I am. In this world, isn’t that enough?” He simply wanted to go to class and be himself, but the extremes created a doubt and fear.
We cannot allow the extreme views – whether on the news, in protests, on social media or in our conversations to drive us out of the conversation or make us believe that our voice does not matter. To the contrary, it is in the middle where the solution is birthed. It is in the middle where answers are vetted and nurtured. It is in the middle where belonging takes hold. It is also the responsibility of the middle to have more courage than fear during times of chaos, and do the work of increasing listening, learning, seeking disparate opinions, and engaging rather than disconnecting.
It is hard to be in the middle with someone who on the outside doesn’t appear to look like you. Or share your views. But that is the power of the middle. It is a place where people can come together in a safer place to share – not with the goal to divert or change someone’s thinking or deeply held beliefs, but with the goal to simply talk about, learn more, and share openly the different perspectives. Our goal with the middle is not to win over – but simply provide information and perspective and trust these individuals to make their own thoughtful decisions. Even if they are different from our own. Our research and work shows that when we do this, they respond and not only our organizations win, but the people do too.
As we reflect on empowering the middle, I will never tell another leader what to believe or be another voice overtly simplifying the most complex societal, organizational, or family issues. I am simply reminding you that you don’t have to have all the answers during times where everyone is shouting over each other. Being open and finding pathways for gathering credible information, along with listening without labels through dialoguing and nonjudgmentally hearing people with diverse perspectives are strategies you can apply during times like this to engage more effectively. And, sometimes, it is okay to step away from the heated diatribes using the “spinning top theory” – simply removing energy stops the spin – before reengaging this moveable force.
By activating and relying on the middle, we can recalibrate focus and efforts. Leading the middle requires a commitment to engage with them and bring their voices out during times where most are conditioned to remain on the sidelines, here are a few strategies to help you encourage, unite, and empower the middle:
Share only the facts. Too often, leaders want to “lead the witness” or in this case, workforce, to believe in and share a conclusion. That tactic is important, at times. But, to create a more lasting impact it is important for leaders to be out front, sharing the facts and allowing space and resources for the middle to gain knowledge and settle on their educated opinion. When we provide information, give space, and trust the workforce, they will not only respond, but they will also create the necessary organizational movements.
Focus on small choices. One of the strongest aspects of the middle is that those who make up this often-overlooked group can be counted on to show up. They aren’t going to stomp off in disagreement or buckle under pressure, although because they are not touting the demands and ideals of any extreme, their quiet consistency can be misinterpreted as complacency. Far from it. They are there to do the hard work of partnering to figure it out and when brought together in an open forum, can join with others to be available to creative options and solution sets. Sometimes these start with small things we can do – a minute to pause to reflect, to create an intentional breath or break, a genuine check in on colleagues or the workforce, being present and seen – and not hidden away. Sometimes, just being visible as a leader provides the necessary connection and comfort.
Listen without labeling. Listening releases any need for expertise on a topic and you can aptly listen without taking a position or agreeing. Listening without applying any labels simply makes an opening for connection to what another person thinks and feels. Many of us are shy to comment or engage in conversation about any potentially contentious issue because it has a deep and painful history. But listening to how the current actions are affecting someone on a human level requires only empathy and acknowledgement that the pain is real and that it doesn’t make us weak or wrong for caring or being fearful. Listening without labels is about making the space for people’s emotions and experiences without allowing conversations to venture into hate-filled territory. It’s an openness that also relies on mutual respect.
Accept a different future. I call on a concept TBD – To Be Designed, rather than To Be Determined as we think about navigating the complexity in the middle. You can feel the shift when you understand that design immediately conveys commitment and deliberate action rather than passivity. Encouraging people to come together – especially in the middle -- in the spirit of a different kind of future, one we can only dream about now, is important. We cannot rely on methods that have “worked” in the past, as the past often brings conflict into existence. We must look at the past with a conscious and deliberate eye. We must invite a new kind of “dreaming” – one where we inspire action that builds towards longstanding unity and peace rather than hate-fueled division.
Try these 4 strategies to help bring the moveable middle together during times of chaos and uncertainty. These are strategies that human-centered leaders can lean on to appeal to and unite their people during times when the extremes are vigorously working to divide them. These strategies help make organizations more resilient, encouraging leaders to “control the controllable” during crises and create space for a more peaceful, productive future where the middle is empowered and diminishing the actions of the extremes.
You can pre-order a copy of my book, Belonging Rules at the link below:
https://bit.ly/3VYo6Nr
Love every bit of this, Brad.